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awkward.

I often tell people that if I were to write an autobiography about my life I would probably title it “Awkward Moments Define my Life” or something along those lines. For very obvious reasons if you know me at all. Today I felt a large hit of that awkward. I mean, awkward moments are not necessarily bad, but they are just… well awkward.
Today, I went and saw Eclipse. Yes, I know, I know. A Twilight saga film. Personally, I don’t care for the films, I just loved the books when I read them. For whatever reason though, I always want to go see the movies. It’s just this thing about me. When books I like turn into films.. I always want to see them. Maybe it’s because I want to see how they could be played out visually. Even if the movie turns out awful, I’d still like to see it and hear voice interpretations. Eclipse fits my topic situation perfectly. The movie, along with all of the ones in the saga thus far [and potentially all the time] was filled with awkward moments. From one moping teenage face to Dakota Fanning. Tons of awkward moments. It didn’t help that the theater was nearly empty and every time people in my group snickered/laughed/commented, etc., about the movie, it echoed insanely to me, it was just an overall awkward situation.
Another awkward situation I’ve found myself lately has been with certain friends of mine. I don’t know why I’ve felt this way… but I feel as though there are only a select few people I don’t find myself feeling awkward around as of late. It’s an odd feeling. Perhaps it’s the thought of growing too attached to them yet again before leaving and going back to Tuscaloosa. I mean, sure, I’ll be back whenever I get a break from my hectic college life, but I am realizing more and more how much things will change this year. As they do every year, but this year is going to be filled with the biggest changes yet. I just know it. For one, I don’t plan on spending my next summer vacation completely at home at all. Actually, I am dead set planning on going to Italy and studying abroad. That’s a big change. I won’t be seeing my friends nearly as much. Sure, I mean, my friends aren’t my world, but in many senses, they truly are. I suppose with every decision I make to quote/unquote better my life, I have consequences. As with anything, right? But as they say in my current favorite song “you know it’s true, all good things come back to you.” And I expect as much if not more from my future trip overseas. It should be a rewarding experience. I just don’t know how I’m going to cope with some of the consequences.
Last but not least, the word “awkward” in itself is an awkward word. o_o; I mean, look at the spelling of it. I feel that w-k-w combination is just, well, awkward. This entry is now starting to get awkward so I think it’s time to quit for now. But as I said, awkward moments define my life.

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