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mental awareness.

I think everyone has moments of complete and total epiphany. You know, those moments when you suddenly realize, “Hey, I’m eating a sandwich and it’s delicious,” or like the one I had yesterday, “I’m nineteen years old and I go back to college [now in two days] in three days.” Epiphanies, or well, mental awareness essentially, are just things that make my eyes widen when I notice their occurrence. It is really hitting me hard that I’m leaving soon. I feel exceptionally happy and yet incredibly disappointed by it. I wish I had more time to see certain people [you know who you are], and yet I’m excited to see people I haven’t seen in three months. As I said earlier, I completely realized that I am nineteen yesterday. Funny story, earlier I uploaded my pictures from my /nineteenth/ birthday to my computer and facebook and such and instead of labeling the album as it should have been, I labeled both the folder on my computer and the album on facebook “seventeenth birthday.”I couldn’t believe I had done that. I mean, I dropped 2 years and made such a ridiculous error. Oh well, I fixed it all after I caught my own mistake before anyone else mentioned it to me, luckily. Regardless, the thought of being /nineteen/ is really ridiculous. I mean, sure, some may just say it’s just a number and means nothing. But to me, as usual, it’s much more. I mean, I’ve been lucky enough to live over nineteen years on this planet. Sure, there have been rough times, but no one’s life is perfect, right?
On a side note, I sadly do feel under appreciated sometimes. Sometimes I look back at all the hard work I’ve done for whatever reason and just feel shortly appreciated.  It hurts occasionally. It’s the kind of thing that makes me miss kindergarten and elementary school when we’d receive a sticker or a smiley face for doing something well. Those were the good ole’ days. Despite everything, I’ll keep doing the things I do, just because /I/ want to, even if no one notices.


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