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hunger.

I’m not talking about a hunger for food like the one I am experiencing right now, I’m talking about a hunger for life. Or perhaps even, a hunger for time. I’m not saying that my life is dull, believe me, there is no time for it to be dull. That’s the problem. Time. Or well, lack thereof. Sometimes I just take a deep breath and wonder to myself, why? Why did I do this to myself? By “this” I mean college. I mean, sure, there are several reasons that immediately pop into my head, but man, college is something. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love it. I absolutely love the university I go to, the group of people I am fortunate enough to be surrounded by daily, and even most of my classes. Really, I love it all. Sometimes I just need room to breathe though. That’s the problem. Breathing room is just so hard to find sometimes. Sometimes I just want to sleep for five extra minutes without thinking of the consequences these-what may seem like few if any-minutes will result in. You know, not getting work done, etc. So much responsibility. I mean, I put it on myself for good reason, but it’s just a lot regardless. I don’t want to take the loads off but at the same, I am starving for some free time. Just a little bit. I force myself to make free time daily, but it just hurts in the end.
The pain of not getting something done is more than what it may seem. I hate the constant pressure and stress I feel like I experience sometimes. Yeah, I put this on myself, but I just want /one/ day. Is that too much to ask? Today, I enjoyed my time just hanging out with my best friend and with my high school band at a band competition. I miss days like today. With that said, I must return to the stack of homework as my weekend once again winds down. Dearest Time, why must our relationship be so dysfunctional?

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2 thoughts on “hunger.

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