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a natural.

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Nothing new, right? Anyway, I’ve noticed something in my head a lot lately. I’ve had an extra amount of time to do a lot of thinking since I have been stuck at home a lot in the past week since the wisdom teeth surgery. I’ve noticed that I am constantly amazed by those around me, especially those who make things I can’t imagine in my head sound or look so easy. The other day, my family and I took my visiting cousin bowling. We thought he had never been before and thought it would be a nice American experience for him to have. We learned rather quickly that he had played before and was actually very good at it. He made scoring many points look like the simplest thing though he had only bowled once or twice in the past. He was definitely a natural at the sport and though I have been bowling many a time, I can’t recall ever having as good of a game as the two he won that day.
Today I went ice skating for the first time in my entire life. It was definitely an experience I’ve always wanted to have and I’m glad I finally had the opportunity to do so. There were a few things I knew about my relationship with ice skating prior to today. I knew what it looked like and that I definitely think that ice skating is my favorite of the Winter Olympics whenever it comes around. I also knew it was somewhat like roller blading but on ice. Or something. These were my impressions. I also know that I can’t roller blade; I always failed at that when I was younger and tried. I also know I can’t swim, or well, I’m pretty bad at sport type things. I’ve never really been much for them beyond maybe some basketball and such. I learned quickly that ice skating is really not my thing either. I like it, that’s a fact, but it was just mind boggling to me the entire time I was attempting to do it. I could not seem to grasp the concept of what I was supposed to do with my feet and such to move at a real speed beyond the few inches I would barely move every time I tried. I am proud of myself for several things though: I only fell twice and I did keep going back, even if I had to take a second to recuperate mentally first. In regards to the title subject, I did notice rather quickly that there were many people, even if it was also their first time ice skating or just skating in general, that got the hang of it so quickly. They were complete naturals at it and I just could not seem to get the concept to click in my head. I am always amazed by the capabilities people possess when it comes to various things.
There is also something else I’ve noticed that I am indeed “a natural” at. Or well, I feel that I am. One thing I’ve noticed in particular lately is that I am indeed a natural worrier. I seem to worry about little things. In all this time I’ve had to think, I’ve probably worried more about every little detail of my life than anything. I mean, this can be good and bad. I sometimes feel like I am driving myself insane with all of the little things going through my head, but at the same time, I mean, a lot of it is good I suppose. I worry about my future a lot. Perhaps worry is even a negative sounding word. Perhaps a better word would be concern. I am constantly concerned about how the people I care about are feeling, doing, what they are doing, whether or not they are safe, etc. I also find myself continuously concerned with my education and future. With little things like complications and things that could ruin that future for me in a heartbeat. I find myself concerned about things that could hurt or cause negative consequences to my life. Things like cancer, failure, sex, overworking, lack of sleep, etc. I don’t know what causes me to worry, or be concerned, about all of these things. I just do it. I’ve found myself losing sleep over all of this too through the constant occurrence of nightmares in the past few nights.
I think my point is, everyone, everyone, is a natural at something. Anything. Whether it is ice skating, writing, math, video games, or teaching. Whatever it may be, everyone has their niche.  I may not know all of mine just yet, but I love learning like I did today.

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