Posted in Uncategorized

heartache.

Lately I’ve noticed a trend at the end of each of my days at home. I go to bed feeling slightly sad regardless of the amount of fun I had during the day. I think there are several reasons for this. The first being the most obvious and just the fact that I’ve been away from Tuscaloosa for nearly three weeks now. Away from people I was so used to seeing on a daily basis and sharing my time with and I’m not quite used to it still. Not at all. Another source of this heartache may be the fact that it is slowly hitting me that I leave my home soon (10 days from today) and embark on my first ever study abroad experience. So on the day that marks a month away from Tuscaloosa, a month at home, I will leave. The day that I leave is also the day that some of my friends will graduate high school and begin the next step of their lives. Graduation, which I will miss because my plane leaves two hours beforehand.
Heartache. It sometimes becomes a physical pain. Sometimes I catch myself frowning at the oddest times and have to make myself think very happily to remember that I can’t control certain things. I’ve discovered that there are many ways to ease such pain. Laughing is a really good one. The more I laugh at home, the more I smile and forget things that cause me heartache, which is perhaps the reason why I tend to get sad only before I go to bed… when the laughter has died away for the day and I’m left with only my own thoughts to deal with. I’m sure that when I arrive in Italy, I will experience a similar heartache. I’m really excited about the trip, don’t get me wrong, but such things will always exist. Missing faces, sounds, scents, and much more will always happen. As much as I love to travel and choose to do so as much as I can, I always find myself experiencing this type of heartache. Maybe it means that I just really care about the people/places/things I leave behind? I don’t know. Whatever the cause, I think it’s one of those inevitable factors of life. No matter what, in the world of travel, you will always be missing, whatever you may be.

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