Ever since the day I turned 20, I’ve noticed more and more how much I’ve truly aged. Looking back at old pictures I see how my face has developed, changed, and in thinking about my own self, so have I. All of the changes have definitely been positive and all for the better, which is good, it’s just crazy to think about sometimes. Nearly overwhelming.
I’ve never really noticed an age before. For some reason, the day I realized I was 20 years old just seemed insane. I think it’s something to do with the idea of being done with two decades of my life. Or perhaps the thought of my undergraduate years being halfway over. Whatever it is, it’s so crazy. Growing up–wow crazy.
Sometimes I find myself trying to picture what I’ll be doing in the next year, and it just doesn’t exist. It used to be so easy for me to think ahead until about the time of the tornado in April. I think the unexpectedness of all of the damage from the tornado really messed with my head sometimes. I mean, not to the point of therapy, but I have noticed some mental changes. Recently I spent a week in Tuscaloosa and really got to see how the damage has progressed in clean-up efforts and it still racked my brain like crazy. It’s been over three months now, but it feels like just yesterday when I was sitting on the third floor of my dorm building in the living room with my roommates staring straight at what was apparently, the storm.
Getting older also gets hard when each age means more responsibility. 5 years ago, age meant being permitted to get my learner’s permit and learn to drive a little. Now it means so much more. It can be scary at times. I mean, sure, I love my life. I try to live it with little to no regret and do my best to push through each day with positive things, but sometimes, the thought of tomorrow is just plain scary and I’m definitely not afraid to admit that.