mental awareness.

I think everyone has moments of complete and total epiphany. You know, those moments when you suddenly realize, “Hey, I’m eating a sandwich and it’s delicious,” or like the one I had yesterday, “I’m nineteen years old and I go back to college [now in two days] in three days.” Epiphanies, or well, mental awareness essentially, are just things that make my eyes widen when I notice their occurrence. It is really hitting me hard that I’m leaving soon. I feel exceptionally happy and yet incredibly disappointed by it. I wish I had more time to see certain people [you know who you are], and yet I’m excited to see people I haven’t seen in three months. As I said earlier, I completely realized that I am nineteen yesterday. Funny story, earlier I uploaded my pictures from my /nineteenth/ birthday to my computer and facebook and such and instead of labeling the album as it should have been, I labeled both the folder on my computer and the album on facebook “seventeenth birthday.”I couldn’t believe I had done that. I mean, I dropped 2 years and made such a ridiculous error. Oh well, I fixed it all after I caught my own mistake before anyone else mentioned it to me, luckily. Regardless, the thought of being /nineteen/ is really ridiculous. I mean, sure, some may just say it’s just a number and means nothing. But to me, as usual, it’s much more. I mean, I’ve been lucky enough to live over nineteen years on this planet. Sure, there have been rough times, but no one’s life is perfect, right?
On a side note, I sadly do feel under appreciated sometimes. Sometimes I look back at all the hard work I’ve done for whatever reason and just feel shortly appreciated.  It hurts occasionally. It’s the kind of thing that makes me miss kindergarten and elementary school when we’d receive a sticker or a smiley face for doing something well. Those were the good ole’ days. Despite everything, I’ll keep doing the things I do, just because /I/ want to, even if no one notices.

summer.

First of all, I want to start by blogging about the most obvious. My birthday. For those of you who don’t know, my birthday was yesterday and I can now say I’m lucky to have survived 19 years of my life. I had a fantastic birthday thanks to my wonderful friends and family. I couldn’t be happier about it. Things went quite perfectly. I shared a lot of laughs and got to see almost all of my closest friends. Thank you for making my birthday amazing.
Next, I’d like to hit on the title subject. Honestly, I suppose my entire blog thus far, seeing as it was started almost two months ago and that was still summer vacation, has covered various things about summer, but I want to directly hit upon some things. As eager as I am to go back to Tuscaloosa and start back to school and such, I’m suddenly surprised by how quickly the summer has seemed to fly by. Literally a week ago it felt so slow. Since yesterday, it feels like it flew by. In 20 days I will be back in Tuscaloosa and preparing for my second year of college. 20 days. Holy wow.
Last night while sharing late night craziness with my best friend I realized that I was truly going to miss that quickly when I get back to college. I forgot how many laughs we’ve shared over the years. I’m going to miss a lot of people. This emotion occurs yearly I guess. Everyone misses things, people, and other things about summer vacation. It’s the memories that count, really, right? And man, I have tons of memories. From yesterday alone, I am fortunate enough to be able to have shared such a fun day with so many wonderful people.
I know this is quite sporadic thus far. Honestly, I have no idea where this is going today beyond just saying, hey Summer, where’d you go? Oh and, thanks for the memories.
“Derpetty derpy derp.”  <333

excitement.

There are about 23 hours left until July 17th, 2010. That date will mark my 19th birthday, and honestly, I am absolutely pumped about it. It’s not because of the fact that I will be legally able to buy cigarettes and such and just be legal in pretty much all 50 states in America. Not at all. Smoking has no appeal to me at all. It never has and I really don’t see how it ever will. Regardless, I have never felt so excited about my birthday before. Or well, not in so long. Since I turned 13, birthdays have just seemed somewhat insignificant to me. Well, my own birthdays anyway. I adore it when my friends birthdays come around because, for whatever reason, I love making handmade birthday cards, or just sharing in their excitement over their big days. In my own case, not so much. Until now. For whatever reason, I have been more excited about my upcoming birthday than I have been in a long time.
The more I think about it, the more I wonder, “Why is this particular birthday so important to me?” I mean, I honestly didn’t really celebrate some of my major birthday years. You know, the ones that most average teenagers patiently wait every second of the year for? After thirteen, the average teenager generally appears to wait for their 15th birthday. That’s a big age, you know. Why? Because that’s probably the first inch of freedom a child begins to get. Or well, in this country [for the most part] anyway. In Alabama, turning 15 means a person can get their driver’s permit after passing a simple written exam. Personally, I was somewhat excited about this, but not really. I had no desire to drive. Actually, I didn’t even really celebrate my 16th birthday for the same reason. Truly, although that was perhaps a birthday I enjoyed, I personally celebrated 15 twice that year. And I don’t really regret it. At 16, when most teenagers immediately go and take their driver’s test and begin to get cars and obtain more freedom, I still had no desire to drive. I didn’t even attempt to get my driver’s license until the April before my 17th birthday. In other words, I waited almost 10 months to take my driver’s license test. And I’ll be honest, I failed the first time. Nerves, of course. I wasn’t confident as a driver because I guess I really didn’t really want it. My parents have always said that when I want something, I work hard until I get it which was why my mom was surprised when I didn’t pass my test the first time. Regardless, I eventually did get my license about 2 weeks before I turned 17. Seventeen. A birthday that, once again, didn’t mean too much beyond the fact that I found the number trick to be ultra amusing. [Leave a comment if you got that one. ;D] Last year I was more excited about turning 18 than I had been the previous years, but it still doesn’t compare to this year. For whatever reason, I have mentally been bouncing off the walls about my birthday. I honestly just can’t wait. The fact that there are 23 hours left is almost driving me insane.
Oddly enough, I feel I have some simple though perhaps complicated plans for my birthday. A birthday lunch. Sounds simple, yes? It feels quite complicated to me. My guest list is officially at 17 people, as of today. Ha, another number trick for my birthday. I really hope everything works out perfectly. I also hope that it doesn’t rain that day, although all of my plans are indoors. Again, I don’t really know why my brain so perked up about this upcoming birthday, but I am really, very excited about turning 19 right now. =D